Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Q & A

I'm a big fan of Top Gear, a TV show mainly about cars presented by a balding fat bloke with no taste, Captain Slow, and a hamster, shown in the UK. I'm also a big fan of the Top Gear magazine, basically the TV show on paper, but with added perks. There's a section on the magazine called Q&A, where they ask celebrities some questions related to cars (obviously).

Since I currently have nothing better to do here at work, as all the licenses for the software I need to use to do my work are taken (thank god for that!), I'm having a go at answering those questions myself.

1. Where do cars rank on your personal scale of all things good?
It comes after my wife and family obviously.

2. Can you tell us how to make donuts?
Erm...to be honest I've never done one. Quite sad eh?

3. You've got all weekend to drive from London to south of France; what's the car and who's in the passenger seat...?
To chill out and enjoy the scenery, definitely a DB9 Volante, top down with my wife at the side. That would be so cool.
To get there as soon as possible, mmm...let me see. An SL55 AMG possibly, just by my self...ooh that would be wicked!!!




4. ...and what's on the stereo?
To chill out, some Coldplay, Joss Stones, John Legends and the likes.
Otherwise, bring on old school stuff. Limp Bizkit, RATM, and Stone Temple Pilots please!

5. Can you tell me the difference between the smell of frying clutch from the smell of burning rubber?
What's the difference smell wise, I can't tell you. What's the difference between the reaction upon smelling a frying clutch and smelling burning rubber, you're usually feeling ecstatic smelling burning rubber, but most probably you're fucked up smelling a frying clutch!

6. What's the fastest you've ever driven?
About 120mph in a 5 series Beemer

7. What one gadget would make life behind the wheel easier for you?
A car with a flying mode to use during traffic jams. I hate traffic jams. It sucks.

8. Does the shape of your genitals affect the way you drive?
I would say, yes it does, for obvious reasons.

9. How much is a litre of petrol?
About an arm and a leg.

10. Who or what caused your worst car crash?
A pothole in the road, and an asshole driver who swerved into mine just to miss the pothole. Oh, and I guess power assisted steering and lack of car control experience.

11. What winds you up most about other drivers?
Inconsiderate and selfish drivers...you get that alot in Malaysia. Sheesh.

12. What's the one piece of advice you'd give to other drivers?
Never assume that you're one of the best drivers in the world. Never ever. Just...don't.

13. Is there one car you'd like to drive before you die?
Pagani Zonda F, among others.




14. Is there a car you're contractually obliged to plug?
I guess, I'm obliged to plug the Lotus Exige S, but I would be absolutely happy to do so. With breathtaking performance, it's the fastest accelerating Lotus ever to come off the production line.


That's more or less it. Feel free to answer them yourselves!

7 Comments:

Blogger Jack Red said...

1. Same place.

2. In RWD, turn wheel all the way and floor it. In FWD, get it up to 30, yank wheel sideways, yank e-brake, floor it. In AWD, sell car and by RWD.

3. TVR Griffith, with James Dean.

4. The Mighty Mighty BossToneS, the Mad Caddies, Ozzy Osbourne.

5. The burning clutch is accompanied by a sudden inability to shift.

6. Oh, God...ah, I think 210 on the back stretch of Cirque de la Sarthe with the chicanes removed, in a Toyota Supra GT500 car with the downforce dialed all the way off.

7. A little doohickey that measured wheelspin and slip angle.

8. No. I have crushed my nads to make a turn.

9. The f*ck's a liter?

10. Some jackass in a GT500 Skyline that apparently forgot what understeer was and that his car could do it.

11. People who feel the need to act like they can drive better than I can, or want to tell me they can at stoplights. They can't. That's why I did what I did and they didn't.

12. Get out of my lane, dammit.

13. Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren. I mean...come on.

14. Not anymore, but I can easily plug the older Acura/Honda NSXs. They're $100k automobiles you can buy for $20k-$30k that will offer you amazing performance and remarkable civility.

And don't tell me you're a Lotus engineer. I'll build a shrine to you on the dash of the Skyline. If you are, do something about that damn clamshell rear on the Exige, which looks suspiciously like the 2001 Motorsport Elise. Windows in back are cool. Seeing stuff behind you is cool (that's the point of such a car, right?). With that damn hatch, the first thing you can do to mod the car is pop the rearview mirror off, saving you a few precious grams.

Still, though...amazing car. Tough to sell people on the extra $8k over the standard Elise though. It sorta just becomes a more confidence-inspiring Elise with a little more power, for the average driver.

8:00 am  
Anonymous nad said...

zamir ni jue la. hahah. main2 je.

10:36 am  
Blogger Jack Red said...

Aye, you bugger. Tell them to make sure that that "launch control system" can be deactivated with a switch, or you'll have 500 US buyers voiding their warranties in manic attempts to do a burnout.

Of course, I can see the need. If it's intended to engage during a turn in addition to standing starts, it would allow all the stupid people of the world to drive the damn thing. Controlling massive V8 torque in such a light car would be tricky. I've seen enough morons with Mustangs to know what happens: Throttle down, tail out, line in--followed by throttle off, countersteer, overcompensate, meet Mr. Wall.

On the whole, man, I am impressed. Lotus has always represented the pinnacle of true sports car development. While the Elise and the Exige are the comlete realization of the company's philosophy, the Espirit is a nice balance between that lightweight mantra, and the popular demand for power.

*sigh* Sadly, they have not caught on too much over here, and never really have. I only moved a handful, and I've only seen one on the street...which was marred by awful dayglow-orange paint, instead of British Racing Green or gunmetal gray.

9:59 am  
Blogger BeachBunny said...

joss stone & coldplay? are you sure? nanti tak bole 'join in' :p

2:35 pm  
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