New meaning to 'Fast Food'

For more than a couple of years now the whole motoring community have been gripped in anticipation. Since VW boss, Mr Piech in 2001 announced to the world about his dream car, and how it would be out in 2003, a lot of people just thought he was crazy. A 1000 hp 250mph (that’s 400kmh, 400!!!) car? You must be kidding me. It’s just a fantasy, no way is any car going to achieve that kind of speeds. It made mission impossible look like child’s play.

And true to his promise, albeit 2 and a half years late and after losing his job as VW’s top man, the Bugatti Veyron was unveiled to the public. A 987 hp (1001 PS), 8000cc W16 quad-turbo beast of a car, big numbers with seriously big implications. V max is electronically limited (I kid you not!) to 253mph or 407kmh. The powertrain produces 922 lb-ft at 2200-5000rpm, giving enough acceleration to go nought to sixty in just a mere 2.5 seconds. 200mph in 7.3 seconds. 7.3 seconds! A Mclaren F1 which goes up to 240mph takes longer just to reach 200mph from 100mph, heck, even pronouncing my name takes longer than that.

The most remarkable thing about this car is that even though it looks huge and clumsy, the handling is crisp and clean up to (according to VW) relatively low speeds of 180mph. The whole car actually weighs less then 2tonnes, amazing, especially with that huge 16 cylinder heart it has inside, which helps the handling. At those speeds, the rear spoilers and aero kits produce a total downforce in excess of 350kg. However, to go faster than that, the driving mode needs to change, and the aero kits and the spoilers configures themselves to reduce drag. At maximum speed, the downforce would reduce to only 50kg, where no cornering is recommended, unless you suddenly get the urge to go airborne.

The interior reflects the kind of elegant and smart design you expect in buying an £800,000 car, with the centre console obviously becoming the focal point. I personally hate that flashy centre console; it looks like something that came from the DMC Delorian in Back to the Future. Apart from that, very nice.

Overall, it is a real masterclass of engineering. I can only imagine the amount of hours spent in designing the cooling system for that W16, don’t forget the four turbochargers as well. That doesn’t include controlling the aerodynamics of the car, especially going at those speeds. This is definitely a great advert to engineering. Kudos to VW’s engineering excellence.

Say, if I had £800 big ones lying around somewhere in my back pocket, would I buy one? Erm…unfortunately not. Let me list a few reasons why.

There’s actually not very much I can do with that 1000hp at my disposal. I mean, of course I can go up to 250mph, but I need a frickin’ long straight runaway to do it, and unless I go to specialised tracks, or probably Antarctica, there’s no place to actually reach those speeds.
The total amount of power from the engine is actually 3000hp. But 2/3 of that is lost to thermal dissipation through the cooling system and exhaust, and only 1000hp is transmitted to the road. That is a really inefficient engine, I tell you. Would be sad to see all those energy go to waste, especially since the energy comes from petrol, and with current prices, I think not.

But the main reason for me not buying this monstrosity is because of its looks. I know it looks cool, and very ‘garang’, but the more I look at it the more it resembles a slab of meat. I mean, I know the Germans love their meat, but to actually design a car to look like one seems quite ridiculous. And what’s with the Bugatti logo? It looks like one of those logos you see on canned food. Something like ‘Heinz’ or ‘SPAM’. £800,000 for a can of meat? I don’t think so.

It just gives a new meaning to the term ‘fast food’, doesn't it?!?!

Bugatti Veyron 16.4

Price: £839,000

Engine: 7993 cc 64-valve W16, quad-turbo

Power Output: 1001 PS/987 hp @ 6000 rpm

Torque: 922 lb/ft @ 2200-5000 rpm

Weight: 4612lb/1913kg

0-62 mph: 2.5 seconds

Top Speed: 252 mph/407kmh

Fuel Consumption: 11.7 mpg combined

Emissions CO2: 574g/km